if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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