you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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