if i can run in heels then i can drive
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
