How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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