I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
