Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
