Girls should come with a carfax report
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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