My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sobbing to NWA
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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