Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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