Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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