Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
