I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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