Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
