i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
