people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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