I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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