Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
