He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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