Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
