i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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