I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
