Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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