New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He called his prostate his "boner button".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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