apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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