Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
