chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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