I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
