Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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