found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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