can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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