something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
