Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
