I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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