Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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