I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
