mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
