I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
