There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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