bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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