Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
