I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
