I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
