i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
