She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
