I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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