i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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