I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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