he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's rum buckets o'clock
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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