worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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