Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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