he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
