Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
