Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
