If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
