Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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