I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
